


Scattered and Lost

by ObliqueOptimism



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: AU, Gen, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 17:14:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20642765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: Diego finds Klaus in a bad way and decides right then and and there that he was going to help his brother. Klaus meanwhile is too busy worried about Dave, who is missing.





	Scattered and Lost

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know okay. i'm sorry. i don't even know why i'm sorry but i am.

The rules were simple. 

If it was too hot out, Klaus went to either Diego’s or Vanya’s. Got a hold of them and had them come get him. Let them know if he had somewhere else, somewhere safe to stay. If it was hot and had nowhere to turn, he could turn to them. 

If it was too cold out, Klaus went to either Diego’s or Vanya’s. Got a hold of them and had them come get him. Let them know if he had somewhere else, somewhere safe to stay. If it was cold and had nowhere to turn, he could turn to them. 

If Klaus was sick, Klaus went to either Diego’s or Vanya’s. Got a hold of them and had them come get him. Let them know if he had somewhere else, somewhere safe to stay. If he was sick and had nowhere to turn, he could turn to them. 

If Klaus was injured and in a bad way from someone (drug dealer, boyfriend, stranger) roughing him up, Klaus went to either Diego’s or Vanya’s. Got a hold of them and had them come get him. Let them know if he had somewhere else, somewhere safe to stay. If he was injured and had nowhere to turn, he could turn to them. 

Those were the basic rules.

_Klaus went to either Diego’s or Vanya’s. Got a hold of them and had them come get him. Let them know if he had somewhere else, somewhere safe to stay. If he was in trouble and had nowhere to turn, he could turn to them. _

Simple.

And yet.

Maybe it was Diego’s fault? Or Vanya’s? Klaus’s for not calling them? Either way, Diego and Eudora had just stopped at his shabby apartment (if you could call it that) to change out his clothes. He’d been staying with Eudora a lot lately. They’d talked about moving in together. 

But it was cold out, very cold. Cold enough that someone could freeze to death. He should’ve thought to check his place sooner, but he honestly hadn’t been thinking about his brother. 

After they left, after they were back in the warm car with music playing low, it was Eudora who spotted him.

“There’s a man on that bench.” She stopped the car and got out. It was at this moment that Diego’s stomach fell. He knew, _he knew_. They were a block away from his place. His place where he hadn’t been.

Diego was slow to get there, blaming himself, knowing it was Klaus. Eudora was taking off her coat as he finally arrived, draping it over the form of a man.

_He was right._

It was Klaus.

It could have been the lighting, street lights can only illuminate so much, but Diego had never seen Klaus look so bad before. Not since childhood anyway.

He seemed paler than usual, but maybe that was just because of the stark contrast against the sunken in eyes, the almost blue lips, the bruises. So many bruises splattered on the (too much) skin showing. As if he were a Jackson Pollock painting of colors. In the streetlight with the snow falling lightly, the scene almost looked like a work of art. The soft light contrasting against the harshness of Klaus. 

Diego froze in place. 

He could see and hear Klaus’s ragged breathing from where he stood. He’d let this happen. He hadn’t been home to welcome Klaus inside. 

“Diego, I need your help,” Eudora said. “He’s almost frozen to the bench, we need to warm him up.”

She didn’t know who Klaus was. Well, she’d heard of him. Of course Diego had told her about him, but she didn’t know that this was his brother. 

Her words unstuck him.

In long strides, he found himself standing next to his brother. Taking off his gloves, he started to warm the skin that was next to the bench, trying to pry it without harming him brother further. His fingers were clasped tightly around the bench, holding on as if he was worried a strong wind would drag him away. 

“We’ll need to take him to the hospital.”

“No,” Diego’s voice was choked. “We’re taking him back to mine. Warm him up there.”

“Diego--”

“It’s Klaus,” Diego sounded wrecked. “He came here for-- for--”

Her hand was on his shoulder, “You’re place doesn’t even have a bath, Diego. We’ll take him to mine. It’s not that much farther. I have better heat, more blankets, more food.” 

Diego nodded, tears welling in his eyes at the state of his brother and at how Eudora was so accepting of helping him. He didn’t cry, but it was close. 

Eventually they warmed him up enough that they could move him. His eyes had fluttered open a few times, making quiet noises of confusion, but never fully waking up. Diego kept up a soft commentary of how he was safe and okay, stuttering a few times, as he picked up his brother and took him back to the car. 

He had lost weight since last time.

Diego climbed into the back seat with him, holding him close. Eudora blasted heat and aimed it back to them. She went to turn off the music, “Leave it on.” Klaus was always happier and calmer when music was playing. Hopefully if he started to come around it would help him know he was safe. 

By the time they made it to Eudora’s Klaus was starting to shiver.

Thank fuck.

“I’ll run some lukewarm water, you get him undressed and warmed a little more before we put him in.”

Diego nodded. It was hard, undressing Klaus when he was shaking apart. His clothes were so tight and he was no help in getting his pants off. He was tempted to just cut him out of the pants but they were the lace up faux leather pants that Vanya had gotten him. He’d been so happy to get them and wore them often. (Why was Klaus wearing military tags?)

“D-D-Di?” Klaus’s voice was stuttering and slurring and quiet. His tongue feeling thick in his mouth. Klaus wasn’t sure where he was but if he was with Diego, he’d be okay.

“Hey bud,” Diego wrapped him in a blanket before picking him up and taking him towards the bathroom. “You’re safe.” There was more bruises on his body.

His back had a very clear boot print on it.

“Fuck!” Klaus said very clearly after Diego sat him down in the water. He tried to climb out but Diego gently pushed him back down. Klus thought the water was _too hot_ and it felt like he was burning. 

“Klaus, stay in there. We’ve got to get you warm.”

Klaus sent him the most pathetic glare. He looked like a drowned, homeless kitten. 

As Diego forced Klaus to warm, his shivering slowed some and his ragged breathing turned into coughing. It didn’t sound good. 

After the water cooled too much, Diego helped Klaus out and into some of Eudora’s sweats. They were both too big and too small on him. The arms and legs not long enough but the pants and shirt swallowed him whole. He led him back into the living room and sat down next to him. Eudora had made some tea, she said she added honey after hearing the coughing. 

“Wh-Where are w-w-we?” Klaus glanced around the nicely decorated room.

“My girlfriend’s. Eudora Patch.” Diego had to hold his tea for him. His hands were still shaking too much. His fingernails didn’t look like they were the right color yet. 

For the rest of the night Diego stayed close to Klaus, wanting to hold him tight but not wanting to hurt him more. He frowned whenever Klaus coughed. Klaus had trouble staying awake, which was expected, but he and Eudora kept an eye on his temperature. It slowly rose but then it kept rising. 

“Based on the cough, I’d say he’s been sick for a bit,” Eudora frowned. “This isn’t from one night on the bench.”

Diego nodded, worried. “I should call Vanya and see if she’s seen him lately.”

“Wait until morning. He’s safe right now, don’t scare her at two in the morning.”

In the morning Klaus was clearly feeling better but was also clearly sick. His bruises were worse. He’d obviously had a beating. 

“What happened?” Diego asked, handing over another blanket as Klaus sipped more tea. 

“What ever do you mean, dear brother?”

Diego gave him _a look._

“Well, my dealer beat me up,” Klaus shrugged. “He wasn’t too happy that I stole money from him.”

“Money? Not drugs?”

“I used the money to buy drugs,” Klaus took a long sip of his tea before coughing deeply. “Speaking of--”

“Klaus, please. You are in no shape to get high,” Diego hoped that he could get Klaus sober and off the streets. After him almost dying he wasn’t going to let his brother go back to being a homeless junkie. He’d have a fight on his hands, but he was prepared for it.

Klaus shook his head, “Sober at the moment. The money was for drugs -- _antibiotics_, Di. I’ve got the pneumonia. Was I still wearing my coat when you found me? My pills should be in there.”

“Wasn’t much of a coat,” Diego got up to look. Grabbing the ‘coat’ he pulled out an orange pill bottle. He read the writing. Seemed as if Klaus was telling the truth. It was a prescribed antibiotic to Number Four Hargreeves. He handed them over. “So you stole money from your dealer to buy antibiotics.”

“Yeah. So all my money went to that, so I’m sober right now. Going through withdrawal while sick is bullshit by the way. But Dave helped me out. He made sure I went to the doctor’s.”

“Who the fuck is Dave? Is he the dealer?” Probably not, why would a dealer suggest that and then beat Klaus up after he did as told. 

“He’s my fiancé,” Klaus said nonchalantly. He was having trouble getting the childproof cap off the bottle. His fingertips felt like they’d been burnt.

_“What?!_ Please tell me he’s not the dealer who did this to you,” Diego pleaded. He was used to Klaus being in abusive relationships. He would stay with them longer than he wanted so that he’d have a bed and easy access to drugs. If one of them suggested marriage--

“What? _No!_” Klaus let out a vicious cough. “He’s a military vet. He got me off the really hard drugs, by the way. The ghosts are nicer when he’s around.” Easier to ignore.

“Is there a reason why you aren’t staying with him? Why did I find you mostly dead on a bench?” If he was using Klaus just for sex, Diego didn’t care if the guy was military, he’d soon find a fist in his face. 

“He’s homeless too, Di. Duh,” Klaus rolled his eyes. 

“You said he was military.”

“A lot of vets are homeless? It’s like a _real_ problem in this country. Almost as bad as the pharmaceutical drug problem,” Klaus laughed. “We parted ways two days ago, after I went to the doctor’s. I’m worried,” he frowned deeply. “I hope he got into a shelter last night. Hope he wasn’t out looking for me. Diego what if he died?!” Reaching out, he gripped Diego’s arm.

“You said you were sober, right?” Klaus nodded. “You’d see him, right? If he died?”

Klaus glanced beside him on the sofa, “Uh, probably. But not if-- not if he just moved on. Not everyone stays you know.”

“Well he knows to stick around?” Diego tried. 

“I guess? I mean, he knows I see ghosts. But I don’t know how it works! What if he just left without saying goodbye? What if he froze to death and his brain was like mine last night and justs moved on? _Diego!_” Klaus was starting to panic, hyperventilating was going to mix well with pneumonia. 

“Calm down. He’s probably fine. Worried for you, sure. But safe,” Deigo put his hands on Klaus’s shoulers. “Breath with me, bro. Dave’s fine. Tell you what, later on I’ll go out and look for him, okay? I’ll try and find your boyfriend.”

“Fiancé,” Klaus said, starting to calm back down. 

“Didn’t see a ring,” Diego pointed out.

“We’re homeless, you dick. Rings are _expensive_. We switched necklaces,” Klaus reached up and then his eyes widened. “Where are my dog tags? Diego! The dog tags?”

“Klaus, it’s fine. They’re on the table beside us.” Diego grabbed the necklace and handed it over, “Here.”

Klaus grabbed them quickly and put them back on. 

“I will go looking for him later, okay? We’ll find him. In the meantime, you aren’t going back out on the street. Especially while sick! Got it? You can stay with me.” 

“But your girlfriend--”

Eudora yelled in from the kitchen, “You can stay here, Klaus.”

“Speaking of,” Diego said. “Why were you on the bench last night? Why didn’t you just break into my place? Me not being home has never stopped you before.”

Klaus looked down at his hands as he played with the blanket’s edge, “Well, you see, I first went to Vanya’s place? She was closer. And she didn’t answer the door so I broke in, y’know? But uh, it _soon_ became apparent that it wasn’t _Vanya’s_ place anymore.” In a decent impression of Snagglepuss, Klaus added, “_Exit, stage left._” 

“Oh shit,” Diego muttered. Vanya had moved last month. She’d mentioned how she hadn’t seen Klaus to let him know and if Diego saw him first could he pass along her new address?

“So when you didn’t answer I didn’t want to risk it again. I hoped you’d be home soon, figuring that if you were out swashbuckling around you wouldn’t stay out late. _It was cold_. But then I got tired so I laid down.” He shrugged, “Also you could have moved too. Which, it seems, _you have._”

Diego frowned. Klaus wasn’t wrong. He hadn’t officially moved yet but he hardly ever stayed at his place. He and Eudora had discussed Diego actually moving in after his lease was up. The guilt he felt from the previous night was back. If he hadn’t needed more clothes they wouldn’t have found Klaus. “Sorry.”

Klaus raised his eyebrows, “Wow. A trademark Diego Apology. I’m honored.”

Diego could hear Eudora’s snort of amusement from the other room.

Later that day Diego made some calls. He first called Vanya and told her about the situation. She immediately said she was coming over. Diego tried to stop her, not wanting to crowd Klaus. Eudora told him that Vanya was coming, don’t try to stop her. She pointed out that if the roles were reversed Diego would be at Vanya’s faster than ever. Then he called some of the shelters that Klaus frequented, the local hospitals, a few friends on the force. Gave them Dave’s name and description. 

By the time he got done with those phone calls, Eudora had let Vanya in. Klaus was napping on the sofa, swaddled in blankets but the bruises on his face were still prominent. Vanya stood still in the doorway. Looking as frozen as Klaus had been previous night.

“God, Diego,” Vanya whispered when she saw him. “How did we let this happen?”

“I don’t know. What I do know is it won’t happen again. He isn’t going back on the streets without a fight. And if he runs away I’ll bring him back kicking and screaming,” Diego’s voice was firm. 

Vanya nodded, taking a few steps into the room. “If he wants he can stay with me too. Or if you and Eudora--”

“Even if Diego and I broke up, he'd be welcome to stay with me,” Eudora replied, coming in from the kitchen. 

When Klaus woke up, he either ignored or didn’t notice Vanya, “Did you find Dave?”

“Not yet, Klaus,” Diego patted his knee. “But I’ve got people looking.”

“Why aren’t--” Klaus got caught coughing, “Why aren’t you looking? You said--”

“_Klaus_, I’ve got people looking. I promise I’ll go look later too. We’ll find him.”

Vanya moved over next to Klaus now that he was awake, “Diego told me you’re engaged?”

Klaus nodded, “Dave Katz. I’m going to change my name to Klaus Katz.”

“Sounds better than Number Four Hargreeves,” Vanya gave him a small smile. She worried for Klaus. Diego hadn’t told her much about this Dave (Diego probably didn’t know much about this Dave), but she hoped he wasn’t taking advantage of her brother. She’d seen it time and time again. Klaus would break into her apartment and climb in bed with her, silently crying over people mistreating him. She’d hoped he’d learn his lesson but he never seemed like he did. “Tell me about him.”

“Well, he’s around my height, with these blue eyes--”

“No, I mean, tell me about _him_. Not his looks. Is he nice?” Vanya didn’t need a run down on how he looked. She wanted to know more about how this guy acted. She was more worried about the fact that some of those bruises were from Dave and not just an unnamed dealer.

Klaus’s smile was soft, “He’s kind, and strong, and vulnerable. And beautiful.”

“How long have you two been together? You’ve never told me about him before,” Vanya leaned in closer to Klaus. 

“A month or two? _Time is weird._” Klaus looked to the empty chair beside them, “We met a little over two months ago but first kissed five weeks ago.”

She raised her eyebrows as Diego’s gruff voice cut in, “You guys move fast.”

Eudora sipped on her drink, “Yes, Diego. I can’t _imagine_ moving faster than us. After all it only took six months of dating before you even told me you had a family.”

“You ashamed of us, Di?” Klaus said in an exaggerated hurt. “For shame! I’ll have you know I couldn’t ask for a better family. Was it the famous actress that made you shy to share? Or the billionaire father? The brother who is living on the moon? The dead or missing siblings? The sweet and darling violin sister? The homeless drug addict? _For shame!_ Oh. Van, darling, I bet it was the years of trauma and abuse. Makes it hard to open up, you know. But one, two, three, licks and _crunch_,” he stopped to cough deeply. “Tootsie pop in the middle.”

“Well if you’re already engaged I guess it was only Diego who had trouble opening up after years of trauma and abuse,” Vanya played along.

Klaus nodded, “Yes but I play it fast and loose, you know that. Gotta live like its your last day. I mean, my heart has stopped a number of times so when a handsome man makes me feel like I was just defibbed and was brought back to life I better make that man mine.” He let out a laugh. 

Klaus didn’t feel the tension in the room at his words, Ben however gave him a look, “Maybe you shouldn’t have alluded to the fact that you’ve died previously when you almost died again last night.”

Klaus rolled his eyes at him, “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is to other people. You do realize that other people don’t _want_ you to die, right?” Ben leaned forward.

Klaus shrugged. “Anyway, Dave. He’s the best. I know what you two are thinking but he’s never hit me, or put me down. Actually he hates it when I talk down about myself or when I don’t eat all day or when I take drugs or any of that.”

Diego nodded, thinking about when Klaus mentioned that Dave didn’t like him taking hard drugs. “He’s helped you with your addiction?”

“Yeah, yes. He doesn’t like all the hard drugs. He wants me off all drugs but would pick weed over heroin anyday. Me however--” Klaus chuckled again, letting them finish in the sentence. “But Dave was always so kind and supportive. _He’s everything._"

“I see that,” Vanya smiled. “I’m glad you have Dave.”

Klaus nodded. “Me too. If only _someone_,” he gave Diego a side-eye, “could find him.”

“I’m working on it,” Diego defended. “We’ll find Dave for you. I haven’t even been on the job for 24 hours yet.”

It was later when Klaus was feeling better but still at Di’s and Dora’s, that he went to find a place to sleep. The sofa was too comfortable. Instead he curled up in the bathtub, the bathroom door open. The next night it was under the table. After that it was under her piano. He took a lot of naps in what the others thought were strange places.

“I’m just not comfortable on the sofa, or a bed? It’s too soft,” Klaus tried to explain. “You find Dave yet?” He had asked every day. And as he was sober he tried to find his ghost every day. 

No dice.

In either the living or the dead.

“Maybe if you come to my new place?” Vanya suggested. She thought that maybe Klaus couldn’t feel comfortable in what was Eudora’s place, but maybe his sister’s-- sure he’d never been there but maybe being around _just_ a sibling would work. Instead of a sibling and a stranger. 

So.

New rules were set in place.

Still simple.

Ask Klaus some questions about Dave. Easy questions. What he likes, dislikes, how his hair looks in the sunrise or sunset, his voice, why doesn’t he like drugs.

Do not shut doors. Not a bathroom or bedroom door. They knew this already. They didn’t know why, but they knew _not_ do close the door.

Klaus slept wherever he wanted. A bathtub, the floor, curled up in a chair, the foot of their bed. Don’t push Klaus into a bed or the sofa. Let him fall asleep where he wanted, where he found comfortable that day.

Klaus could move between Vanya’s or Diego’s (Eurdora’s) as he wanted. But he was to be with Van, Di, or Dora. Someone would inform the other. Van would let the 2D’s know if Klaus had shown up at two in the morning, wide awake. And the 2D’s (D squared) would tell Vanya if he showed up at one of their places for the night.

But still no Dave.

Klaus was not taking it well. 

They needed to find Dave.

He was at V’s. They were baking cupcakes. One of her coworkers had a birthday and so Klaus decided they’d make the gayest cupcake mix there was: funfetti. Klaus had never made cupcakes before and had a fun time cleaning the batter off the cupcake tin before baking. “Why can’t I just lick it clean?”

“Gross. No, Klaus. Just clean it. You can lick the mixing bowl.”

“Deal!”

As Klaus watched his breath fog up the clear glass bowl after licking it clean there was a knock at the door. Letting out a shout he dropped the bowl and got to the door as quickly as possible. “Dave?! Diego?!” It had been over two weeks and still no sign of Dave. Maybe this was it! Finally!

Throwing the door open Klaus deflated. “Oh. Hi Allison.” He knew his whole body slumped and his voice wasn’t enthusiastic but he was hoping for his beloved. “Come on in, I guess.” 

“Where’s Vanya?” Allison asked. “Not that I’m unhappy to see you, Klaus but since when--”

“What a good point!” Klaus yelled loudly, towards the bathroom where Vanya had been showering. He couldn’t hear the shower anymore so she must’ve been done. With a quick glance at the timer (five minutes left on cupcakes) he pushed open the bathroom door to find Vanya mostly dressed, “Hey, how come Allison knew you moved and I didn’t? _She doesn’t even go here_.”

Vanya rolled her eyes and wrapped her towel around her head before leading him back out to the kitchen. Giving a small smile to their sister, she said, “Allison has a personal assistant I can leave messages with. Do you have a personal assistant?” She put her hands on her hips and waited.

Klaus narrowed his eyes and then gestured to the air beside him.

“Ben is not your personal assistant!” Vanya argued.

“Really, dude? How would she know I got the message?” Ben gave Klaus _a look_.

Klaus flipped him off.

“Who is Dave?” Allison cut in.

“The love of my life,” Klaus answered vehemently. 

“So is he hanging out with Diego right now?” Allison was trying to figure out what was happening. She was also surprised to hear Vanya talk about Ben. As far as she knew Klaus hallucinated Ben but wasn’t haunted by their brother. It was strange to imagine that Vanya would speak of Ben like he was there.

“Sure as fuck hope so,” Klaus muttered right before the timer went off. “Cupcakes!”

Vanya took Allison aside as Klaus busied himself with the food and gave her a quick run down of the recent events. 

“You’re engaged?” Allison’s voice rose as she turned to Klaus who, it looked like, had burnt his thumb.

“Yeah! And if he thinks being dead will get him out of our nuptials he’ll be sore to find out that’s not the case. I’ll marry a ghost! Just you wait and see!” Klaus slammed his hand on the counter. “Dave’s not getting out of this relationship by dying!”

“Is he dead?” Vanya had told Allison that he was missing, not dead.

“He’s missing,” Vanya assured her. “Diego’s been looking for him. And Klaus has been _searching_ also, so we know that he isn’t dead.” She said the last part with a glare to Klaus.

“He’s sober?” Allison turned to Klaus, “You’re sober?”

“_No one lets me take drugs anymore,”_ Klaus hissed out.

“When we find Dave he’ll be happy to hear that you are one hundred percent sober,” Vanya pointed out. 

Klaus perked up at the idea, “Yeah! He may jump my bones right here.” He smiled softly, thinking about it.

Allison raised her eyebrows and shared at look with Vanya. It had been a while since she saw her brother but she had _never_ seen him look so vulnerable when thinking about someone else. It seemed as if he was very much head over heels in love with this Dave character. 

“How long are you in town for?” Vanya asked. 

Allison shrugged, “A few days? Depends on how long the shooting takes. But you know I always like to have some girl time with my favorite sister whenever I’m in town.” She smiled.

“As your favorite non-binary sibling, am I invited?” Klaus jumped up to sit on the counter. 

Allison laughed, “Of course.” 

The rest of the night was take out, icing the cupcakes, eating most of the cupcakes, making more cupcakes, and much to Klaus’s dismay there was absolutely no wine. Not even for the sisters. “You can drink, I won’t mind. _Or we could all drink._ Wine doesn’t even count as booze. Let’s have some cordials! Did you know that in the old timey days when women couldn’t drink they could get shitfaced on cordials because they were considered not real booze because they were made out of flowers and shit? Even though they often had as much if not more alcohol than what the dudes were drinking.”

“How do you know that?” Allison asked, sipping her tea.

“Dead lady told me all about it. She was a lush back in her day, _let me tell you._”

“No wine _or cordials_,” Vanya said, starting the timer for the second batch of cupcakes.

Klaus grumbled but didn’t argue.

It was then that there was a knock at the door. “Dave!” Klaus yelled again, running towards it.

Vanya looked to Allison, “He does that every time. Even though it’s usually my neighbor asking if we’ve seen her cat.”

Much to Vanya’s surprise and relief, after Klaus opened the door she heard an emotional, _”Dave!”_

Vanya’s eyes shot towards the doorway. With the door open she couldn’t see what was happening, but soon a muscular man who had his arms around Klaus, carrying him, as Klaus had his legs wrapped around Dave’s waist and was holding on tightly. Diego followed silently behind and then shot a confused look to Allison.

Klaus was muttering to Dave as Dave held him tight and moved to sit on the sofa. He murmured quietly back to Klaus. Klaus was holding tight to Dave’s shirt with one hand while the other gave some light smacks on the arm, “Seventeen days, David! Asshole! Don’t fucking do that again!”

“I was looking for you, sunshine,” Dave smiled at him, cupping his hand to Klaus’s cheek. “How was I supposed to know your family was holding you hostage?”

“They won’t even let me have weed,” Klaus seethed.

Dave smiled brightly, “No, but it looks like they let you have cupcakes.”

Klaus turned to the kitchen where his three siblings stood, watching. Vanya with a smile on her face, Diego with raised eyebrows, Allison looking surprised. “Dave needs cupcakes!”

“We’ve got two from our first batch left. Dave and Diego can each have one.” Vanya said.

Dave didn’t even dislodge Klaus, just hefted him up and carried him into the kitchen, sitting him down on the counter before leaning against it, between Klaus’s legs. Klaus wrapped his arms tight around Dave. “You’ve gained weight.”

“All the better to snuggle with,” Klaus replied.

“It’s very good,” Dave agreed. “Cupcakes?”

Allison handed him one as it was clear Klaus wasn’t going to let go of Dave anytime soon.

“Thank you,” Dave thanked her. Allison noticed he was wearing the planchette necklace she’d made Klaus when they were teens. Their father had given Klaus a ouija board to help hone his skills. Klaus had cackled and said his problem wasn’t with not being able to talk to ghosts. Later he had set it on fire and told Allison if their daddy wanted him to use a ouija he’d just become one himself. The next day he showed up with his hello and goodbye hand tattoos and Allison took the planchette that had fallen out of the fire and made it into a necklace.

Then she noticed Klaus was wearing dog tags.

Klaus then jerked his head to the side, “Of course the wedding is back on. It was never not on. I told you, even if he was dead you’d perform the wedding. We’d get your ordained. I’d be open to eloping tomorrow but the cordial lady also told me if you get married in June you’ll always be a bride.”

“Sunshine, we can’t elope tomorrow. Remember? Marriage licences are expensive.” 

“We can heist money from papa. He’s not invited but he can help contribute. The bride’s family provides the money, dowries. Who wants to help me do a crime?” Klaus asked the room in large.

“I’m in,” Diego flipped a knife over and over in his hands. “A little b&e. Say hi to mom. Sounds easier than the last job I did for you.” He pointed the knife at the Klaus and Dave combo. “Did you have to fall in love with a Houdini?”

“I told you, I was looking for Klaus,” Dave said. “I was worried. He’d been sick and it was cold out.”

Something came over Diego’s face, Allison had never seen it before. Worry, fear, guilt. “Yeah, I know. Speaking of, now that you’ve been found I hope you realize you’re stuck here along with this numbskull.”

“Huh?”

“I just spent so much of my time finding you, neither of you are going back to the streets. Eduora and I have already talked about it and you’ll both live with us until you can hold down jobs and find your own place.” 

“What, did you find Dave and then call Dora?” Klaus asked.

“No, dickhead. We’ve discussed what the plan would be when I found him.”

“You both can also stay with me,” Vanya added. “Same deal. I won’t mind.”

Both Klaus and Dave were quiet. Dave looked shocked that they were being so nice. Klaus kept looking between his siblings, as if wondering if there was a catch. “We will have loud sex, so be prepared for that.”

Everyone exclaimed his name, including Dave. Klaus just laughed happily at them.

Over the next few days Allison got to know Dave while hanging out with her siblings. “You did really good,” she told Klaus. 

_”I know,”_ Klaus grinned. 

The rules that had applied to Klaus now applied to Dave as well. They moved back and forth between V’s and the 2D’s. Dave didn’t mind one over the other but he knew Klaus would start to feel caged when they stayed in one place too long. “When we do get our own apartment, I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck there with me. If you needed to you can do what we’re doing now. Just let me know if you aren’t staying at our place. I know how much your freedom means to you.”

Klaus leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Dave, “You are a star.”

Eventually Dave got a job doing some construction while Klaus started painting and selling his art on the street. Most of the art was how he saw the world. Sunsets, fairy lights, cute and friendly shops. But it was all filled with the living and the dead. Going about their lives. He had a few people who came back and kept buying some, saying the scenes were so stunning and spoke about the duality of man and tried to claim that Klaus was trying to make a statement with his art. Klaus nodded silently, taking the money. Later he told Dave and laughed. He wasn’t making a statement, that’s just how he saw things. 

Their apartment was between V’s and the 2D’s. Not many dead haunted it. There was a decent view that Klaus stuck his easel in front of. He was often found painting in front of it in just his underwear, “I like giving the neighbors a view while I enjoy the view.” He winked.

Ben had gotten ordained and Klaus was able to make him corporeal long enough for the ceremony. 

They got married in June.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ obliqueoptimism.tumblr.com


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